Friday, July 08, 2005

My latest CPE experience

I was on call for 24 hours last night, and of course it was the night after the terror attacks in London. People were up tight, and toward the end, if I had to hand hold one more person, I was frankly going to scream.

There were a lot of deaths last night. I was completely drained having to deal with families that came in and had to learn their loved one had died. There was a lot of screaming and throwing of soda. I think the major thing I am wrestling with in all of this is my need for fix things. I think that is what bugs me so much about having to do chaplaincy work. I see and emphathize with a lot of people who are in pain and I there is not a *&%$ thing I can do about it.

There are no magic words, no shaman chant, no hocus pocus thing-a-mabob that I can do to fix the situation. I think in a way I am angry that God would send me out to minister and not really give me any way to fix situations like this.

I guess I have a better appreciate for Job.

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