Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Razorblade Arms Race

Some years ago, before I started this blog, I was fascinated with the Razorblade arms race. I am thinking back to the time when the Gillette Mach 3 came out. As I recall it was sometime around 2000 or so, maybe a little before that. It mystified my mind as to why anyone would need 3 razors on the same shaving utensil. It would seem that more that 2 blades is just overkill. Then there was the Mach 3.

Soon, in drugstores everywhere, all brands of shaving razors were clamoring to get their 3 Blade Overkill products onto shelves. It got to the point where unless you bought the cheapo bag o' plastic razors, you could not even find a razor with only one blade. I joked at the time: where will the madness end? 4 blades? 5 blades? Enough blades to take off the hair, the stubble, and several layers of epidermis. And for your convenience, all in the same product!

Oh, the horror! I was in the drugstore today to get some last minute items for my trip to Pittsburgh next week, and behold! The arms race just escalated. Forget the Schtick Quattro; that four bladed chump is yesterday's news. There glistening in the fake phos flourescence...the Gillette Fusion. A 5-bladed razor behemoth with two lubricating strips and trimmer on the back of the cartridge for your shaving pleasure.

I can only guess that that target demographic must be the 2% of the male population that have back hair so think you need a sand blaster to get it off. I was thinking of possible marketing catchphrases for such a device:

4 out of 5 Yeti recommend the Gillette Fusion

or perhaps:

Only Chimps use Tri-blades

It makes you wonder what's coming next. 8 blades? 10? How about the Gillette Warp Factor: Scotty, more power to the blades! Perhaps some form of medieval torture device.

I see it now...The Schtick Tetra, with rotating blades for your decapitation and hygiene needs. You'll never have to shave again! (at least until we come out with the new 22 blade edition).

4 comments:

BrotherBeal said...

Good grief. It's already difficult for me to get Mach 3 cartriges, as most grocery stores don't stock them (it seems they frequently grow legs and leave the store). When the Mach 3 leaves the shaving arena, I may just go ahead and buy a straight razor and a leather strap. It's only one blade, but something tells me it'll get the job done.

Sandy said...

Even on women's cheapo disposable razors, there are two blades..and don't forget the comfort strip!

Voyager said...

A bit of overkill, but I have to say that the Mach3 is the best razor I've ever used. It is interesting though that as a culture, we never could leave well enough alone.

Wozzeck33 said...

What if Gilette really IS the best a man can get?