Sunday, November 27, 2005

Festivus, the Christmas Gremlin

It is an annual tradition after Thanksgiving for my parents to put up their Christmas tree. We alternate between the big, fake tree, and the really big, fake tree (I'll let you decide whether really modifies big or fake in that sentence) . We keep both in the garage. With Festivus lurking about, its probably not a good idea to go into the forest with a ax or a chain saw.

At my folks' house, we have what I call Festivus, the Christmas gremlin. I think Festivus was behind my grumpy Christmas post a few days ago. We used to have in the house a homemade pipe cleaner elf looking thing, with felt clothing and a styrofoam ball for a head. I made it one Christmas when I was about 10. About three years later, poor Festivus was down to one eye and a leg was missing; so, my mother threw him out. It was then that the fun began.

Another Christmas tradition is the annual Christmas light snafu. We will get the tree set up, and we will get the Christmas lights ready by checking them first to make sure they work before we put them on the tree. We will some how unroll them and get them up on the tree, only to plug them in and they not work. We have tried various counter measures to defeat Festivus. We go out and buy new lights, we jiggle all the lights to make sure none are loose before we put them on the tree. Alas, Festivus strikes again.

The only way we have found to pacify Festivus is to go through the ritual of putting up the lights, find they don't work, utter the correct incantation (wording not appropriate for this blogger's younger readers), take down part or all of the lights, do a good shake dance, and put them back on the tree. Usually, that will somehow satisfy Festivus, who will then move on to torment other inanimate objects in the house like burning the Christmas cookies in the oven.

Beware the power of Festivus, the Christmas Gremlin.

No comments: