St Paul's vs. Da' Bears

So today was the annual parish meeting at St. Paul's, my field ed parish. Coincidentally, the NFC championship games between the Chicago Bears and the New Orleans Saints NFL Teams was also slated to go on. Bears football is pretty big here in Chicago, so we were competing with the Bears for attendance this morning.

Here's my play by play of the contest:

Forecast: 30 degrees F, snowing, but not a killer. St Paul's defense holds but lower than average morning attendance. Bears 3, St. Paul's 0.

No acolytes show up for service. Bears 6, St. Paul's 0.

Seminarian comes in off bench to serve as thurifer/server/chalice bearer. Seminarian does not burn church down or accidently accost parishioners with thurible. Bears 6, St Paul's 7.

Elderly congregation with a lot of immigrants not so much into American football. St. Paul's opts for field goal, 10-6.

Promise in sermon that annual meeting will finish before kickoff of Bears game. 16-6. Promise of coffee and sandwiches good for two point conversion. St Paul's 18, Bears 6.

Junior Warden flagged for wearing Bears tie, forcing turnover and field goal. St Paul's 18, Bears 9

Bears pull razzle dazzle and lure some people home early after services. Snow/Icy mixture good for PAT. St Paul's 18, Bears 16.

8AM service parishioners return for meeting, St Paul's 21, Bears 16.

Decaf coffee and vegetarian alternative available. St. Paul's 24, Bears 16.

Deacon cuts out of meeting early because he has Bears tickets. St. Paul's 24, Bears 23.

No major fights, budget accepted, meeting ends 10 minutes before kickoff. St Paul's 27, Bears 23.

Fans drive home happy. St Paul's wins the opening match up. Bears win second game against New Orleans Saints with 21 4th quarter points.

Priceless.

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