Sunday, April 22, 2007

Berries 'n Cream...in your ear!

So I stopped at the Walgreens in Roger's Park on my way home from church to stock up on a few items and get something cold to drink. (I was tired of drinking coffee from church).

The Walgreens had the usual 4 refrigerators full of cold beverages. It seems like that would be sufficient to quinch my thirst for a normal beverage.

But no...nothing simple for the Archer.

I wanted Dr. Pepper...a whole rack of it. I like Dr. Pepper.

No, I don't want Berries 'n Cream Dr. Pepper. That's like that man-sized plastic Burger King in the TV commercials...disturbing on multiple levels.
No I don't want Diet, no I don't want Vanilla Dr. Pepper. I certainly don't want diet Dr. Pepper with lime because that's just perverted. Just normal Dr. Pepper.

So, no Dr. Pepper...

Okay, regular Coke, surely they have that. I don't want Diet Coke, I don't want Caffeine Free Diet Coke, and I don't want caffeine free Diet Coke with Splenda with aforementioned perverted lime. The stock was apparently low and the regular Coke and Pepsi were sold out.

No problem, I'll get something else. Water...bottled water...they can't possibly mess that up. Haha, wrong again...
Lemon Water...no.
Energy Water...no.
Fruity Energy Water with Lime (I see a theme here!)...let me think...ye...no
Regular water, that's so 1000 BC. Whatever...

No regular water. Alrighty, how about Gatorade. Since you are convinced to sell me Lemon-Lime extract in some way, shape, or form as some sort of weird Limon conspiracy, I do actually like Lime Gatorade.

So, Lime Gatorade...no, not blue ice Gatorade.
Not Powerade, that's too sweet.
Not the red Cherry flavor, tastes like cough syrup.
Not Red Bull, I want to sleep sometime in the next 24 hours years.

I finally give into Lime, and you don't have any. Some conspiracy this is...

Never mind, I'll go back to church and get coffee.
It should be cold by now.

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