Thursday, October 25, 2007

Curse you, 1974!

So we decided to complete the second place we wanted to create a bridal registry. This place didn't have the Cap'n Kirk phaser scanner but this thing that looked like a calculator. This was just not as much fun to begin with.

We also tried this in the evening after a long day at work that consisted of a funeral and 2 hour Freshstart meeting about Family Systems Theory. I personally have a lot of issues with the psychological construct of Friedman's family systems theory if for no other reason than the old fashioned gag reflex because it was force fed down our throats at seminary. To that end, I do not think I had quite the energy or the patience of our first attempt at a bridal registry.

The saving grace was that this particular store had a lot of cooking gadgetry. I like to cook, so at least I was able to scan some things I might actually use. I still do not need that salad shooter, but the toaster oven with no preset timer would be nice to broil those sauteed chicken livers wrapped up in bacon appetizers. (Yummmm...they just slide right down.) Unfortunately the toaster does not come with Cardiologist included. (That's a separate attachment.)

I was also surprised they did not have a decanter set I liked. Well, I guess I should rephrase that. They had a gorgeous Waterford Crystal one for $300 dollars, but I know none of my friends or family have that kind of money for something that frivolous.

I have also been continuously frustrated this year that the 1970's are apparently back in vogue. I am firmly convinced that the 1970s was a time when American went out of its fashion mind. I am convinced that the 1970s are like a Jason or Freddy Kreugger slasher movie. Just when you think they are finally dead and won't be coming back, some schlub of a director drags them back for another money making sequel. 70's fashion, well...much like Jack Nicholson said in that horror movie, "He's baccck!"

I'm sorry but dark orange was not a good color on leisure suits and furniture back in 1974. I certainly don't see why people suddenly like them now. I know I was about to drive my fiancee crazy because there was not a single set of bed sheets or comforters that I could stand. I would just have nightmares about homicidal disco balls if I had to sleep with melon colored sheets. I will be so glad when this 70's fashion hell fad is over. Oh, the horror...

I got to joking with my fiancee after this traumatic fashion ordeal that we should be able to create a bridal registry at some place like Heifer International or the USPG where people could buy charitable donations to people who actually need stuff in our name. Just think how fun a bridal shower that would be when the maid of honor gets us a water buffalo and the mother in law gets you a full set of matching honey bees. At least a family in Myanmar could use it more than we could use pale yellow paisley printed pillow shams.

My Chicago readers, after another Cubs post season meltdown, know they want to buy that goat. It may end a curse and its a also a clever wedding gift. Now, you just can't beat that deal at any bridal registry at Bed, Barf Bath, and Beyond.

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