Thursday, December 22, 2011

Oh...a rookie!

I just received a phone call from a telemarketer. I can usually tell it's a telemarketer when some weird area code comes up on the caller ID. I probably should not do this, but I like to play with telemarketers' minds. Nothing bizarre or grotesque, I just like to have a little fun. I am on the national Do Not Call list, so when I get a telemarketer call, I really have little sympathy for them, particularly if they are politicians.

For some reason, I just got the following call and hilarity ensues:

Me: Hello?
[The Awkward Pause while the Computer dialer transfers me to an actual telemarketer.]
Telemarketer: Hello...uh...Mr...uh...
[another awkward pause]
Telemarketer: I'm sorry, what's your name?
Me: Mr. Hippo...Mr. Augustine O. Hippo
Telemarketer (without missing a beat): Well, Mr. Hippo...I'm calling on behalf of...uh...
[3rd Awkward Pause]
Telemarketer: The Society for...uh...
Me: The Society of Uh? I've never heard of it.
Telemarketer: No...uh. I'm calling on behalf of the Society for the...uh...
[4th Awkward Pause]
Me: I do kind of like uh's. I mean, if you are going to make verbalisms, why not an uh?
[5th Awkward Pause]
Telemarketer: No...uh...
Me: I thought you were the Society for Uh's
Telemarketer One moment...(in a very hushed tone to someone off headset): Who do I work for again?
[Mumbling in the background]
Telemarketer: Oh yeah...I'm calling on behalf of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to...uh...children...NO! uh..."
[loud clicking sound as call is terminated]
Me: Uh...! And also with you!

They really should never send me rookies.

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