Preaching Rule of Thumb Numero Uno

Make sure homilist has had his cup of coffee* before sermon.

While coffee may not be for everyone, ask your doctor is coffee is right for you and your preacher.

*while individual results may vary, side effects can include but are not limited to drowsiness, attention wane, incoherence, snoring (from self or parishioner), blatter irratability, and lightning bolts falling from ceiling.

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