The entry where The Archer scares old women...

So my wife sent me on a mission to Walgreens last night. (Someone has to actually go work in the family...) And so I wrote down precisely what she was wanting, brand name, type, package description, etc.

Granted, sending a man to buy a cosmetic product was probably the first mistake, but I had to get a few other things for myself, so I figured I could manage.

So I got there, and after wallowing around like a bull in a china shop, I finally tracked down the item. But there were two of the same item but in different packaging. One said, "Improved new look."

I am always skeptical when they try to "improve" any product, regardless of type, because that can only mean they've ruined it. They usually accomplish this by one of the following means: cheaper way of making and/or they've added something to it, usually some unnecessary attachment or more sugar.

For example, when they ruined my favorite type of peanut butter a while back by making it too sweet. (I have since gone to natural peanut butter.) Or how they keep adding blades to shaving razors (I mean, 6 blades are just overkill, and I have now gone to an electric because I need to shave not decapitate myself) or how they keep perverting the toothbrush. I mean, a toothbrush, plain, simple design; you would think they couldn't screw that up, but they find new and exciting ways to do so. They now bend backwards and have multicolored bristles at all these weird angles that make it look like a bad 80's haircut in miniature towel bowl scrubber form. (My mouth don't bend thatta way!)

So, anyway, I was staring at these two products that appeared to be identical except for one was in a box that had "new improved look" scribbled on the outside. As is the case whenever I am in a drug store, there is always some little old lady in a walker who proceeds to walk down the aisle and surreptitiously stare at me like I'm some sort of pervert.

This time, I was prepared for the little-old-lady-who-appears-at-random and turned to her and asked, "Which one do you think I should get for my wife?"

To this she only made a noise similar to a monkey snorting, stared at me like I had asked her if Walgreens sold anthrax, and proceeded to run away as fast as her walker would carry her.

I thought the lady at the cosmetics counter behind me , who witnessed the incident, was going to die laughing.

Gotta love the 24-hour Walgreens crowd. I wonder if they howl at the moon.